Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed
for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien
addressed it by saying, “Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to
your leader.” The gas pump, of course, didn’t respond, which made the young
alien angry.
The older alien said, ‘I’d calm down if I were you’
The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again,
there was no response.
Pissed at the pump’s haughty attitude, the alien drew his ray gun and said
gruffly, “Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader or
I will fire!”
The older alien again warned his comrade saying, ‘You probably don’t want to
do that! I really think that will make him mad.’
‘Rubbish,’ replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon and opened
fire. There was a huge explosion and a massive fireball roared towards him
and blew the younger alien off his feet and threw him in a burnt, smoking
mess about 200 yards away, in a cactus patch.
Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused
his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked at the older,
wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head.
‘What a ferocious creature!’ exclaimed the young, fried alien. ‘He damn near
killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?’
The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend
and replied, ‘If there’s one thing I’ve learned during my intergalactic
travels, you never f**k with a guy who can loop his penis over his shoulder
twice and then stick it in his ear!!’