OH to be british....

Be very proud to be British because…

Only in Britain… can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain… do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain… do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain… do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain… do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on thedriveand lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain… do we use answering machines to screen calls andthenhave call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t wantlk to in the first place.

Only in Britain… are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.


3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.

And finally…

In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the Toilet…



British and PROUD :smiley:


Doh, British and ouch, that bloody well hurt.

because it made me smile

nice bump TFW :thumbsup: :smiley:

Made my afternoon :smiley:

Was that last one including Stevieboy at Mojos after the chilli challenge?

it was Dale who returned from the loo after the challenge with a nose bleed where he had nutted the bog :lol:


The Stevieboy incident was way back in the mists of time, at the first Chilli Challenge, with the original members in August '02.

I remember it well, well maybe that’s a fib as I was wasted as per normal. The sticking memory was the ‘chip van’ :lol:


Great bump. Made my colleagues chuckle