Reasons It's Good To Be A Man

Tatooine The Mos Espa Comedy Club
1

25 Reasons It’s Good To Be A Man:

  1. The garage is pretty much all yours.
  2. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
  3. You don’t give a rat’s ass if someone notices your new haircut.
  4. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one’s just too icky.
  5. People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
  6. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
  7. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
  8. You know stuff about tanks.
  9. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
  10. You can open all your own jars.
  11. You can leave the motel bed unmade.
  12. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
  13. Underwear cost $8.95 for a three-pack.
  14. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
  15. You don’t mooch off other’s desserts.
  16. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might just become lifelong friends.
  17. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
  18. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
  19. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
  20. The same hairstyle lasts for years, more likely, decades.
  21. You don’t have to shave anywhere below your neck. (except for Neal) :lol:
  22. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
  23. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
  24. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
  25. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
2

:haha:

So true, so true… :chuckle:

3

:chuckle:
:lol:

Yep…Very good…Very true…

4

>The time has finally come…
>
>How many men does it take to open a beer?
>None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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>Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
>Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never
>be able to support you.
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>Why do women have smaller feet than men?
>It’s one of those “evolutionary things” that allows
>them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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>How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
>When she starts a sentence with “A man once told me.”
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>How do you fix a woman’s watch?
>You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.
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>Why do men fart more than women?
>Because women can’t shut up long enough to
>build up the required pressure.
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>If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
>front door, who do you let in first?
>The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>What’s worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
>A woman who won’t do what she’s told
>
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>Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
>a woman’s sex drive by 90%.
>It’s called a Wedding Cake.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>Why do men die before their wives?
>They want to.
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>Women will never be equal to men until they can
>walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
>gut, and still think they are sexy.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
>Then God created Man and rested.
>Then God created Woman.
>Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. Boy ain’t this the truth!