Shamelessly pinched from another forum

[B]Blokes Revenge!

When girls don’t put out!! [/B]

This was written by a guy… it’s pretty damn smart.

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women
differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and
Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head
and women with their heart.


One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, “I
don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”

I said, “WHAT??!! What was that?!”

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to

“You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.”

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her.

We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried
on several different very expensive outfits.

She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her we’d just buy
them all.

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said,
“Lets get a pair for each outfit.”

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair
of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you… she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a
tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.”

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the

Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, “I think this
is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I
don’t feel like it.”

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled, “WHAT?”

I then said, “Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man
enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I
added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the
things I buy you?”

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either… but at least that
bitch knows I’m smarter than her!

:haha: Lovely! Not the sort of thing to try every night though. :smiley:

Very nice :slight_smile:

Love it :slight_smile:


that is great, lol however that guy needs to hear a bollock guard at all time lest the scissor pay a visit

Its a good but risky tactic, ultimately resulting in no sex…

one wonders if they are still together…

Nah, they split up.
Pretty sure I was her second husband.

[QUOTE=MrTFWitt;375354]Nah, they split up.
Pretty sure I was her second husband.[/QUOTE]


Best way to keep it as far as I can see