1/- The US has made a new weapon that destroys people but keeps the building standing… Its called the stock market.
2/- Do you have any idea just how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wal Mart Street.
3/- What’s the difference between a pigeon and a London investment banker. The pigeon can still make a deposit on a top of the range BMW
4/- What’s the difference between a guy who lost everything in Las Vegas and an investment banker? A tie!
5/- The problem with my investment bank balance sheet is that on the left side nothing’s right and on the right side nothing’s left.
6/- I want to warn those people from Nigeria who might be watching, if you get any emails from Washington, London, Berlin, Paris etc., asking for money, it’s a scam. Don’t fall for it.
7/- When President Bush was asked about the credit crunch. He said it was his favourite candy bar.
8/- The original paperwork for the American rescue bill topped out at 450 pages. President Bush’s copy is even thicker… they had to include pictures.
9/- President Bush’s response was to meet some small business owners in San Antonio last week. The small business owners are General Motors, General Electric and Century 21.
10/- What really worries me most about the credit crunch is that if one of my cheques is returned stamped ‘insufficient funds’. I won’t know whether that refers to mine or the bank’s.