Where do you fall apart?

Strange question but iwondering where people on here draw the line and snap.

This last week was meant to be for me,brats away in spain with his nan so no interuptions for work…woohoo…got loads done.
But…and isn’t there always…i need to get the work done to pay the bills (such is life) and i’m getting there big style. The fly in the ointment is that my best female friend (no andy not jodi) tried to top herself this week |(crap going on in her life) and i’ve spent so much time on the phone and face to face with her this last week that it’s dragging me down. I’m drinking and smoking too much and spending time with her that i was planning on spending on work, study (which i’ve done none of) and just relaxing. This doesn’t really bother me too much as i think the world of this girl (is a friend tense before you lot start) but what i want to know is where do you lot draw the line and crack?
Being truthful although i say this stuff from her doesn’t bother me it does (tooo longer story to go into) but i know i’m getting close to telling her to go do what she says she’s going to do…in need of advice peeps…

Do you think it’s a cry for help Gaz, or do you think she really meant to?

As much as you can be her friend and be there for her, you’re not a professional and by sounds of it she needs professional help. I’d try gently saying to her how much you love her as a friend but she does need to see someone professionally, then maybe go with her to see GP to get referred to someone.

I can understand it dragging you down, and you wouldn’t be abandoning her but you’re not qualified to deal with this and she really does need to see someone who can help her :frowning:

It’s definatley a cry for help… if she was going to do it outright, she wouldnt have told anyone.

Just be there to listen Gaz and be patient :slight_smile:

I think gizmo could be right there…
But it sounds like she just needs someone near her to talk to and unload the problems too.
if she doesnt want to speak about the problems… if you havent done alreaddy just asure her you are there for her if she needs it… that is quite probably all she needs to hear.

Good advice from Hids I feel. These things are hard to deal with, be there, but definately get help. I’d be tempted to phone the helplines myself if in that situation, there are more than one person who needs help in things like this. The person who took the choice to make the attempt, and all those around him/her also require some form of consulation that it was nothing they had done or not done. Get professional help :nod:


Hidds & DT say it all. We should support our friends through their problems, that means doing the best for them, not necessarily shouldering the burden alone.

Gaz, its a cry for help cos those who are serious usually try to make sure there are no interruptions, if you know what i mean.

You really need to get her to talk to the Samaritans as a first line of help, they will be able to help you BOTH. I know this is a great place to unload, but its not the most apprpriate at times, and ultimately we are not experts.

the help is there if she will ask, far more help than you can possibly give as a well-meaning friend.

Samaritans for first-line cry for someone to listen
Citizens Advice next stage when you have identified the problems

then Police / Womens Aid / Debt counsellor / Social services as appropriate

you got pm

Cheers all.
Not totally sure if it was a cry for help, at least not a concious one. She’s tried it before in the past and been stopped more by luck than anything else.
This time she discussed it all with her mum (tbh not the best person to talk to, if she was my mum i think i would’ve emigrated to the moon by now) who agreed with her reasons and told her if thats what she wanted to do then do it. My friend went off and od’d and it was her mum who called in the help that stopped her. So if both her and her mum are telling me the truth she really meant to do it. TBH theres so much involved with whats going on with her i’m totally over my head so i think a few phones calls will be made today, or at least during the next week.
She is going to be seeing phycologists through the NHS but i’ll do some research today to get some other numbers she can call for help as well, you know how fast the nhs works :rolleyes:
Cheers for all your help guys…wish she had a place like this to come to. :thumbsup:

Gaz, you can’t fix everything.
I know you, and I know you’d like to, but you can’t.

Impasse. Stuck now.

But you are not. You still have You, Pete and whatever else makes your kite sail. So pursue the latter and (within reason) ignore the former. Because there is a VERY thin line between “sympathetic” and “used”.

Had a similer thing, but the difference was it was a bloke. I told him if he was such a @~& coward and wanted to do that to his mates, wife and family instead of coming back and letting those people help him through it, that i would go to boots and buy him some @~& tablets that WOULD do the job

don’t think that would work with a woman though

Probably not:nono: