Assorted Blonde Jokes

Two blondes find three grenades, and they decide
to take them to a police station. One asked, “What
if one explodes before we get there?”

The other says, “We’ll lie and say we only found two.”

A blond is in the bathroom and her husband shouts,
“Did you find the shampoo?”

She says, “Yes, but I’m not sure what to do…it’s for
dry hair, and I’ve just wet mine.”

A blonde goes to the vet with her goldfish. “I think
it’s got epilepsy,” she tells the vet.

The vet takes a look and says, “It seems calm enough
to me.” The blonde says, “I haven’t taken it out of the
bowl yet!”

A blonde spies a letter lying on her doormat. It
says on the envelope “DO NOT BEND”.

She spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out
how to pick it up.

A blonde’s dog goes missing and she is frantic.

Her husband says, “Why don’t you put an ad in
the paper?” She does, but two weeks later the
dog is still missing. “What did you put in the
paper?” her husband asks. “Here boy!” she replies.

A blond is in jail. A guard looks in her cell and
sees her hanging by her feet.

“What the heck you doing?” he asks.

“Hanging myself,” the blond replies.

“It should be around your neck!” says the Guard.
“I know,” she replies, “but I couldn’t breathe.”

An Italian tourist asks a blonde, “Why do scuba
divers always fall backwards off their boats?”
To which the blonde replies, “If they fell forward,
they’d still be in the boat.”

:lol: Good ones Tom. :smiley: