BBQ Season Rules and Procedures

BBQ Season
After the long months of cold and winter, we will soon be coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it’s the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:


  1. The woman buys the food.
  2. The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
  3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:


More routine…

  1. The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
  2. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

Important again:


More routine…
8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

  1. Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

  2. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed “her night off.” And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women…



Now that is the truth. Yip, especially down in SA when braai’s (BBQ’s) happen all year round.

Just one thing to add, I’m not sexist but I have never come across a woman that can BBQ…

Make of that what you will;)

:lol: I like it :smiley:

although i’d like to point out that its not the case here :stuck_out_tongue:

I love BBQ’s I love the cooking bit… specially using just a grate over a log fire :slight_smile:

I swear Apple is the best. :wink: Oak tends to get to hot and pine is just stinky. You guys probably don’t get much hickory, but that is super too,

I don’t bother with BBQs nowadays … had my fair share of crispy charcoal lumps with raw internal portions, all covered with a glistening layer of grease, flies, grass and dog hairs

I’d rather just go to Macdonalds :rolleyes:

Why is this in the comedy section? Shouldn’t it be with the other facts :rolleyes:

It’d best run while I still can :lol:

Helen said thats not fair… like u said DT theres just nopleaseing some women…
She says whens my day off.
/Edited becase of self hanging.

also, why do women always want the ‘all-singing, all-dancing’ version, when 6 breezeblocks and some old oven grills are fine and easier to clean. then they complain when the damn thing rusts cos it hasn’t been used for a year?

/ me runs too :wink:

Theres a couple of preparatory steps missing here

  1. Examine last years bargain BBQ for signs of rust.
  2. Take it to the dump.
  3. Return with new BBQ, with 10 year guarantee from a chinese company that wont be trading next year.
  4. Buy beer on the way home
  5. Send woman out for Charcoal whilst drinking beer and assembling BBQ
  6. Send woman out to buy Charcoal Briquettes not that instant lighting rubbish and more beer.

Ah but, don’t forget:

The BBQ will be cleaned “tomorrow”
The burnt spots on the lawn are “inevitable” and “who’s idea was it anyway?!”
The BBQ will be at the optimum temperature for cooking when the last piece of food is removed from it
The BBQ food is not “burnt” it is “caramelised”

:wink: Just a (male) cook’s perspective

LOL, either caremalised or chargrilled to perfection:chuckle: