I found this posted over in the senate.
This could take some explaining… I’ve thought about this for a few minutes and trying to find a translation is not that easy, so this maybe an opportunity for a TPR competition. Best explination / translation of the word ‘Tart’ ( in its true TPR meaning ) wins a dinner at the next Mojo’s, payed for by me.
Can someone sticky this for a while.
Sarge.
Ah
tart2 Audio pronunciation of “tart” ( P ) Pronunciation Key (tärt)
n.
- A pastry shell with shallow sides, no top crust, and any of various fillings.
- Chiefly British. A pie.
- A prostitute.
- A woman considered to be sexually promiscuous.
tr.v. Chiefly British tart·ed, tart·ing, tarts
To dress up or make fancy in a tawdry, garish way. Often used with up.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words! 
And they come in pairs as well! 
Oi Big boy! Don’t take the piss, i can do a lovely cut and colour!!!
PS everybody, notice how when i took the photo, the apron was lovely and clean, they only had the pub a couple of months! After looking at MAOJC’s photos, i think Bilko or Sarge must have been using the apron as a quilt, phew, vellllly smellllllly!!!
Wooden spoon award
Waaaaaaaheeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyy
The Chequered Fag.
// Gets coat…
Sarge.
Tart:
A person usually of a portly state and the male persuasion, that enjoys the finer things in life, while simultaneously being a complete waste of space, and usually having one or more rather feminine traits.
Bilko
not much to say but i think it says it all. 
Sounds like our Timothy.
** BITCH **
Sarge.
By the way, I think the Major has the best answer so far.
MORE REPLIES NEEDED.
…Tart
Slightly Rotund
often well filled
with something sweet or even meat filled
example…A Bit of both & steak Rib Eye’s well done
Could be commonly mistaken for another British pudding
…the Roly-Poly often fruity in nature ooo’eeerrr misses
A Tart & A Roly-Poly can be a common site in any Tea Shop
Or top British Pub.
Tart = same as slapper, but harsher, suggesting they sleep around
However, the English language being what it is, it must not be confused with some other versions of tart
Mince Tart.
Example: “I just baked a mince tart”
This does not mean I baked a minced slapper, to confuse the issue, this means fart.
To take the Majors’ approach
tart n. 1. A tart is much the same as a slapper, but is slightly less extreme and a little more omnisexual. Tarts spend hours perfecting make-up, hair, clothes, etc. before going out and waiting at the side of the dance floor to be pulled. Be warned, though - at the end of the evening, tarts tend to turn into slappers, just to make sure all that lip gloss doesn’t go to waste. Back, erm, on a more literary tack, the word may or may not be derived from “sweetheart”.
2. A small cake - perhaps a jam tart or a fruit tart. So when in “Alice Through the Looking Glass”, the rhyme goes “the knave of hearts, he stole the tarts” he wasn’t leaping off with his arms full of easy young ladies. We do also share the third meaning of the word, when it’s taken to mean “sour”.
Now we have many many members of TPR who could be compared to the “knave of hearts”, the one who always gets the tarts, onces again please do not confuse this into the knave eaten a can of beans
Now going back to roots of what is the definition of a real “tart”. The term began life as a term used for advertisement cards left in telephone call boxes, specifically in London, Soho. These became known as “Tart-Cards”. So a tart believes they are gorgeous, and lets everyone know they think so by “advertising” the <cough> assets they have been blessed with. (naturally or surgically)
Then we have internet tarts…now the definition of this could lead to many a university thesis in years to come. In general terms, to know the real meaning, it helps if you have met Sgt Bilko :nod:
DT.
“the knave of hearts, he stole the tarts” he wasn’t leaping off with his arms full of easy young ladies."
Are you entirely sure about that
Tart…
A matured tartette that has finally conquered the mixed grill, without exploding…
WOOF!
You’re onyl saying that so you can keep your money. Major nicked his reply from the dictionary - just cos you don’t want to fork out for a boiled chicken sandwich.
TART!
Hmm - not ever having been to a Mojo’s (yet!) one would imagine that those who do go imbibe in a lot of …?
Tart Fuel:
a sweet carbonated alcoholic beverage. Popularised in the late 1990’s, by several brands offering essentially soft drink mixed with spirits: “S/He’s been on the tart fuel all night; s/he’ll be up for it!”
Does this count?
(Australian regionalism)
Thank you everyone for attempting to clearly define tart to this Yankee. This seems to be one of those words with many meanings and uses. I may not have my finger on it but I now have a better idea what you mean when you accuse each other of being a tart, dating a tart and/or eating a tart. (pun intended)
To quickly sumarize a tart might be:
Is that about right?
By Jove … I do believe he’s got it
and as such, as soon as said award is awarded, I’ll remove the magic sticky glue.
DT.
Photo please.
Sgt Bilko, is a tart?, looks like a tart, wakes up with tarts (and a headache) or perhaps the tart is the headache to get rid of after breakfast (if in fact Sgt Bilko is a gentlemen about such things).
That is him with Mojo in the top pictures! 
Defo a big ol’ tart! :nod:
errrrm, Unstuck and come on then Sgt Tart who gets the grub
DT.