For the Pilots

(P = The problem - as logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution - and action taken by the L.A.M.E. [licensed aircraft maintenance engineer])

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what they’re there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to … “Straighten up and fly right,” and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.



ROFLMAO couldn’t hardly type. :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha:

Thanks That was a great waker upper.

Thanks… I needed that!

Remember when we were in Skz and I spat coffee all over my monitor laughin at your gags? Well, guess what I’m cleaning now. Yep, the monitor got the coffee again…

:banana: :banana: :rotate: :rotate: