It’s 2012 and it’s the Olympics in London .
A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman want to get in, but they haven’t Got tickets.
The Scotsman picks up a manhole-cover (it’s a new fibreglass one – the cast iron ones have all been stolen),
Tucks it under his arm and walks to the gate. “McTavish, Scotland ,” he says, “Discus,” and in he walks.
The Englishman picks up a length of scaffolding and slings it over his shoulder. “Waddington-Smythe, England ,” he says, “Pole vault,” and in he walks.
The Irishman looks around, picks up a roll of barbed wire and tucks it Under his arm.
“O’Malley, Ireland ,” he says,
“Fencing.”