An Australian father goes into his daughter’s bedroom and sees a letter
addressed to “Mum and Dad” on the bed. With a heavy heart he opens it and
Dear Mum & Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m
telling you that I’ve eloped with my new
I’ve found real love and he is so
nice. Especially with all his piercings, scars,
tattoos, and his big motorcycle. But it’s not
only that, I’m pregnant, and Ahmed said that we
will be very happy in his caravan in the bush. He
wants to have many more children with me and
that’s one of my dreams too. I’ve learned that
marijuana does not hurt anyone and we’ll be
growing it for us and Ahmed’s friends. They’re
the ones providing us with all the cocaine and
ecstasy we could ever want.
In the meantime we’ll pray for science to find a cure for
AIDS, so Ahmed can get better. He deserves it. Don’t
worry about money. Ahmed has arranged for me to be in
films that his friends Leroy and Jamal make in their
basement. Apparently I can earn $200 per scene. I get a
$200 bonus if there are more than three men in the scene
and an extra $100 for the kangaroo.
Don’t worry Mum. Now I’m 15 I know how to take care of
myself. Someday we’ll visit you and Dad so that you can
meet your grandchildren.
Your loving daughter,
P.S. Dad, it’s not true. I’m watching TV at the neighbours’. I just
wanted to show you that there really are worse things in life than
England retaining the Ashes.