BRITISH NEWSPAPERS (received via e-mail) 
Commenting on a
complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdy about a large gas bill, a
spokesman for North West Gas said, 'We agree it was
rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr.
Purdy has been charged for the gas used up during the
explosion that destroyed his house.'
(The Daily Telegraph)
Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a
whole salami in her underwear.. When asked why, she said it
was because she was missing her Italian boyfriend.
(The Manchester Evening News)
Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen
van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a
Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to
know what it looks like.
(The Guardian)
At the height of the gale, the harbour-master radioed a
coast guard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He
replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge.
However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his
Land Rover off the cliff.
( Aberdeen Evening Express)
Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue , Boscombe, delighted the
audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war
who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated
at the end of 1945, she recalled -
'He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when
the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February
1946, they spelt out 'Heil Hitler.''
( Bournemouth Evening Echo)